Hardcore Porn

Yo.

2005-12-25T07:59:14Z

Happy Christmas/Chanukkah/December 25th, applegnat blondie_c capstory dragonlady7 elvenwanderer eveiya hatefulsandwich avis_noctis mazdassassin pain_proof_vest pianoabuser point_system pretty_poodle propheteer radiodead teardrop_erine tehta themyst xepheon!! May all your wishes come true in the following year and may life treat you well!!

With lots of love from Mor ^_^

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-12-18T19:25:00

2005-12-18T17:25:55Z

Fuck you, salmonella.

I'm bored. Can you tell?

2005-11-18T21:49:15Z

This Journal is Quasi-Friends only because I felt like making it so.

Bet you never heard that one. I have nothing to hide, it's just so much more entertaining to click that button after making a post. Comment to be added!

Make yourself a Cup Of Tea! Tea is healthy and contains antioxidants ~

Aha. Ahahahahaha.

2005-11-18T21:29:08Z

After school I went to Nicko's house. It was hot. This eventually led to us swimming. While we were splashing about though, four construction workers next door had taken to peeping at us over the vibracrete fence on their tea break, taking turns to stand on some yellow plastic crate thing. They each had distinguishing features. There was:

1. The one with the white hat
2. The bald one
3. The short one who needed two crates to see over the wall
4. The one in the orange shirt

It was unnerving and subtly disturbing on several levels. But we kept swimming anyway.

A few minutes later the one in the white hat started propositioning us in Afrikaans. He wanted us to sleep with them. This was when I asked if he had yster*. He said he did. He told us to go to them over the fence. I said, "Nee, ons is lui**."
It was very amusing. So I chatted to him a little bit, refusing his various offers and throwing in random comments now and then like "Koos se sussie het balle***" while Nicko video-recorded the entire debacle. Then I shot all four of them with a hosepipe-watergun. This did not seem to deter them in the least, and they continued to make comments, extending the sum of languages spoken to three as they started making comments about 'giving it to you' in Xhosa.

Then they stopped looking at us because their tea-break was over. At around that time Nicko and I were delighting in the many pleasures of blowing up balloons. There was a breeze though. Said breeze swept a particularly vicious instant of a blown-up ballon over the fence.

A yellow one. With a smiley face on it.

Having nothing else to do, Nicko and I then made holes in brown paper bags and drew ugly faces on them. We stood on chairs and peeped over the fence. They noticed us because the paper bags were very big. They smiled and waved, and we saw that they had pegged the yellow smileyface balloon onto the washing line in their boss' back yard.

Then we stopped the entire business in favour of tanning and eating waffles.

Hey, one has to have some childish fun now and again ;P. But I suppose this instance of it was rather...er.

* = money
** = No, we're lazy
*** = Koos' sister has balls

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-11-09T13:16:00

2005-11-10T11:10:45Z

So, I didn't study for the end of the year Maths exam. And I got PWNED. I didn't even KNOW that there was a Maths exam since I had consciously thrown away my timetable. But EVERYONE practically died. It was disgusting.

When I found out that I couldn't do jack shit in it, I panicked. I had a packet of Listerine Pocketpaks (mint strip papers) in my pocket which I removed the contents from before dismantling. Then I made thirteen mint strip jets out of the strips and started eating them because I was stressed.

Eventually I just shoved them in my mouth, which failed miserably at cooling me down because the mintiness had discovered a way to burn a hole in my tongue. So, all in all I left about seven questions out and I'm not sure if the rest of them are right or just horrendously incorrect. So the hights I'll get is 60%. I'm aiming at 50. If I actually get it I will cheer.

BUT!! Life goes on. And I've ceased to care. < /denial>

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-11-08T13:11:00

2005-11-09T11:17:07Z

I think a telemarketer called me while I was in the school bathroom blowing my nose. I was a bit rude.

Woman: Hello

Me: Errr...hi.

Woman: How are you today?

Me: Ehhh...I'm fine. Why?

Woman: So you're ehhh...fine.

Me: *annoyed* What do you want?

Woman: Are you employed?

Me: Um, no.

Woman: You can be honest, no one will know.

Me: Well, now that you say it, I'm actually reti -

Woman: Are you in school?

Me: I said I'm reti -

Woman: What school do you go to?

Me: Can I tell you a secret?

Woman: Sure, go ahead.

Me: I'm actually seventy and I live in a bucket.

Woman: ...excuse me?

Me: You're bothering me. Why are you calling?

Woman: You see ma'am, we have expressly called you to take part in a private survey...

Me: Wow, I never knew you were so patient.

Woman: ...and it would be nice if you could provide us with some personal details -

Me: I eat babies.

Woman: ...

Me: Yes, and the point?

Woman: You know ma'am, if you don't want to participate in the survey, it's perfectly -

Me: Shut up.

So I hung up. Ha, I was such a bitch.

I can't believe this. Lethal Acid got a Editor's Pick at Cnet. We're not even that good, and our music quality sucks.

Page: http://music.download.com/lethalacid/3600-8997_32-100618133.html?tag=listing_song_artist

Scroll down and look at the charts:

http://music.download.com/2001-8997_32-0.html?tag=nav_dir&

I think we're being waaaaay overrated.

a lot of high rambling

2005-11-02T16:45:56Z

Ah, my day has disappeared in a whirl of highly coloured memories and spraypaint fumes.

Josh brought spraypaint to school and sprayed it into a can, which various people wielded to terrorise the remaining population. Being a victim of said terrorism I caught a good lungful of the shit, and the proceeding floatiness and the hangover from drinking more vodka yesterday had quite a lot of fun tangoeing in my head, which is spinning at a rate thrice as fast as the lunchline lengthens in prison. Was the above part even coherent?

Eh, oh yeah and I brought some vodka to school yesterday; some of my friends thought it was water and they were thirsty so why not consume the contents of my water bottle to quench their thirst? But then the overwhelming stench of alcohol pervaded their nostrils and then they were all like 'aaaaargh it's Smirnoff'! and then I was all hahahahah I pwnz0rz!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then Laurence finished it all and blamed it on Nicole.

Whoa...checkz the ceiling...it spinneth...

I fail at being a woman once again.

PS: On a more sane note, I am in the process of shooting a Phallic Objects Portfolio that's going to basically document all the penis-shaped objects within a five-kilometer radius of my home. I might upload it at deviantart, but right now I am only in the possession of four pictures.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-30T15:46:00

2005-10-31T13:38:07Z

...i...need a basin...

Joined another band because the one with Richard and them wasn't working out (lack of equipment and space). New band is called Golden Touch and is Joshua's band. Played at a carnival on saturday.

Yesterday throat itched a little for liquor so went to the liquor store and got two six packs of vodka. Cashier didn't notice that I was underage. Drank vodka with Di. Am hung over now.

Came second in a science/technology doodling competition. Feel sick.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-25T06:56:00

2005-10-25T13:59:28Z

Sometimes I wish They believed in me.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-17T08:00:00

2005-10-10T20:22:09Z

Ah, so it was my birthday today. All hopes of having a quiet one was dashed when Nicko and Aims showed up with balloons and a signboard with bells on it that said "It's my Birthday Give Me a Hug" on it. I carried the balloons around as per tradition but the birthday board was stowed safely in my bag. It was fun to put it on random people though. I got chocolates, more chocolates, biltong, some more biltong, money, money, more money, 10 litres of house paint, a cami, a wallet, a bag and something that I'm not quite sure of. I feel stupid though, because a friend wrote on my hand HB. So me, being the idiot I am, asked what it meant. He wouldn't tell me. So I tried HB pencil lead. Then I tried Hoe Bag. Then I gave up and asked him what it meant, and then he was all enigmatic and I got distracted by some Star Wars thing. So I didn't actually know until I was sitting in History and it dawned upon me that HB stood for Happy Birthday. Then I felt all stupid like, and I said thanks, and he was all 'took you long enough'. Then Nicko came over. So it was altogether very nice. Very nice indeed.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-16T23:57:00

2005-09-24T11:24:38Z

Got off the normal side of the bed this morning. But then I was like WTF if I always get off the other side then actually this should be the WRONG side! OMGWTFBBQ. Holidays have officially started, and I've run out of things to do except irritate people who know me. I don't actually feel like going out or anything because I don't feel like pretending to laugh at bad jokes whilst trying to pretend that I'm not pretending today. Usually this type of activity results in temporary cancer of the jaw.

So!! I shall sit here and wait to get ultimately pantsed by boredom. Which is a fitting end to this day.

Also, I just got a random free 7 day subscription from DeviantArt, which was cool, but I have no idea as to how to pervert this into my service since inspiration is at its lowest ebb. But strangely enough, I find myself drawing.

You know what would be cool? If someone wrote a pop/rock/mainstream song in triple time. I suspect that Under The Rain by THEODOR BASTARD is in 68 (6 on top of the 8), but then again it's not exactly mainstream.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-16T23:05:00

2005-09-14T21:05:32Z

I have been very busy and almost digustingly tired for the past few days. And I suspect I shall be even more so in the next few weeks. And, because I am not sure as to whether anyone who reads my journal would like to be deluged with anymore of Mor's Sooper RL Adventures crap, I'm not going to be on LJ for...quite a while. But I do read my friendslist, trying to keep up.

RL is going as good as RL should. It's the good with the bad, and ah I feel so alive. So alive and extroverted.

Although, I really wish I could leave, for lack of a better word, all the things that happen behind me and stop toying with every word and expression projected to me. I am very sensitive to detail, and being the contemplative type doesn't do it much good. And I can't help reading body language - and my mind registers and stores every fucking twitch that passes though my line of sight. I do this kind of thing. Then I worry and dote and do moronic things that land me in either one sticky situation or another, because such is my aura. Must not overanalyse! Bad Mor. Very bad Mor.

So ah, I was contemplating something, but now I've forgotten.

PS: I'm still thinking about making this journal friends only - but now for no particular reason other than because I feel like it.

TMI

2005-09-05T20:35:21Z

There is only one place in Taiwan that grows coca plants, and makes coffee. Damn good coffee, too. It's early late-ish and I just drank a big mugful. Now I feel all sleepy, since coffee has a tendency to lull me into a trance instead of waking me up.

Oh, and Jason came back from France today, sporting a rather out-of-place tan, but no accent. This is a bit disappointing, but hey, he's back.

Okay, this is TMI so if you don't like TMI then you can mercifully skip the below.

Today Jarrod told me that his old teacher said is was possible for men to get breast cancer and that you could -- wait for this --

milk a man. Or any male creature with nipples.

I'm not sure as to whether or not I should believe him. But that is so macabre I just can't stop thinking about it!

Where does the milk come from? Who knows? And why man-milk?

Uh, why do these random fantasies of the Remaking of Arda spring to mind?

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-16T08:14:00

2005-09-04T19:04:00Z

Went for some retail therapy this weekend. Prescription:

. First Rage Against the Machine CD (omg it was on special!)
. Black heels
. Junk food

I'm in such a bad mood actually, really pissed off by any small little thing that comes my way. But I have developed apathy!!!! Go me.

This is sweet:

Nicko's SMS: Please send me a Please Call Me when you get this.
Me: *sends PCM*
Nicko: *phones* Hi!
Me: Hey. Dude, why did you want me to sned you a Please Call Me?
Nicko: I needed an excuse to call you.

He is teasing for
that melancholy sweet taint; sprawls
honey on the forked tongue
"Bite," he breathes,
disjointed fingers linger to hiss over reluctance.
"Bite."

She stares straight ahead
landscape blurred by the urge to blink, drawls
"I won't remember a time of salvation."
in that girlish, velvet deadpan.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not actually an insane person who does not know it. This is also a secret phobia.

In which I am able to string the concepts of Fingers and Communism together

2005-09-01T05:15:24Z

These are stupid thoughts. I believe that I must be the sole person on earth to have these kind of nonsensical musings. I was plaing the piano, cursing it and my weather-chilled fingers, when I noticed that the part I had been getting wrong was mostly due to my ring finger being lazy and letting the other fingers (namely middle) play the note for it, which ultimately results in the wrong note being played.

Now mind you, piano is not my forte (excuse the pun), and I didn't care much for those kind of epiphanies, but it was either that or machine sex and while the latter is admittedly more interesting, it was also more distracting.

Then the rest of my practise time was spent mentally cursing my ring-finger, then smiling at the thought that playing piano was almost like communism on a smaller level. It doesn't matter what my fingers do; they still get blood, they still are sat on (this feels much more pleasant than it sounds) when cold, and in the end whether they play right or wrong notes it does not impact on their standards of living whatsoever.

In restrospect and upon analysis, the above does not amount to much sense at all, and demonstrates my shallow thought processes. It is probably the result of downing shooters instead of sipping them like a sensible person.

There is an interesting phenomenon of the freezer that has occurred for the last ten years or so. And I have never actually managed to understand it. It is too full. It is so full that, by placing a small object in a groove of frozen produce on the surface, one will be sabotaging the lid's ability to close properly.

I was bullied into cleaning it out once, which was a daunting task, but I only got to the second layer before I gave up. The things in there were simply too tightly packed for me to care properly. After I realised that I was fighting a losing battle, I started to wonder what the hell was underneath the second layer that made the things so damn full.

This aroused suspicious thoughts, some of which included:

- fish
- fish
- whale
- dolphin
- cadaver

although deep down (excuse obscure pun) I really do think it is just fish.

For supper, I consumed a big boiled potato. Yum.

I also take perverse pleasure in doing miniature spring-cleaning every three-days or so, then acting suprised at all the ineffective crap my squalour manages to produce. I am not exactly a tidy person. Or a proactive one, to speak of it now. But I do enjoy throwing away things I don't need.

PS: Sometimes, when reading my old journal entries, I think to myself, "Wow, that sounds so psychopath-masquerading-as-a-normal-person-ish!" so in the end, my username holds true, however much I regret spelling in quasi-13375P33|{.

That is actually scary.

it is early in the morning --sorry for the bad grammar, I'm too lazy to fix it.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-15T23:59:00

2005-08-30T05:27:45Z

I am writing on a bout of ridiculous euphoria. Yesterday night we had guests over, but I didn't eat with them because I had a nap and just didn't wake up until 22:00, to the sound of what seemed like quite a bit of 'propositioning' by some unknown guy. So I decided to have a light snooze since everyday conversation just didn't sound like it was supposed to in real life. When I woke up, the guy was still talking, but by then the conversation was identified as negotiation with a stockbroker, and not anything based on a rewards basis.

Nothing very special happened yesterday either. The only thing vaguely worth mentioning was the model we had to draw in Technology, which included labels like 'jack handle' and 'valve release screw', and since Nicole, Tjad and Lauren were both absent the rest of the, er, 'corner group' and I started making fun of the suggestive names.

Then Jarrod stole Josh's pencil bag and started calling it his sack. This was a bit much.

Josh: Jarrod, stop playing with my sack!

Jarrod: But I like it! Let me play with it for a little longer.

Me: Josh, can I touch your sack?

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Jarrod: Oh my gosh she touched Josh's sack!

etc, etc.

Then for an unknown reason in Geography, Garneth started calling Brendan his lover and was caressing him and grabbing his ass, doing it on request every 5 minutes.

I secretly watched in rapture.

Dude.

2005-08-27T08:06:48Z

Happy Birthday, mazdassassin!!! Unfortunately I do not have sufficient funds to purchase this, but I do send my best wishes and lots of positive vibes along with hopes that some unkown billionaire out there will buy you said car. Enjoy your day!</big I have slept for a total of 18 hours, which, apart from being unhealthy, is just fucking ludicrous. There are so many birthdays coming up in August, in LJ and RL. Whoa.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-15T16:08:00

2005-08-26T14:01:01Z

First of all, Happy Birthday dragonlady7!!! Many love and hugs, that corset on Ebay in appropriate proprtions since I am convinced that you would look lovely with it on, and enjoy your day!

Now - for the drug talk. I am not being entirely serious here, so bearing with me is not imperative.

In SA, all public school kids have to don school uniforms. This leaves (excuse the pun) us little leeway for extravagance. But I digress. One day, in Life Orientation, we had a talk about drugs and how they are bad etc. etc. which I mostly just slept through. But!!! While ironing my blazer that same day, I suddenly noticed something - what the fuck plant is featured on the school crest?

Oh yes. Now, if that doesn't encourage us to take up a nice zoll in the name of the school, I am not sure as to what does.

Speaking of which, I hate weed. It stinks. Breathing in second-hand weed gives me one hell of a headache. I have also sworn myself off drugs because they are bad for you, but if there is one drug I would consider to use, it is khat. Does no harm to your body (schitzophrenia is a different story, however...), no physical withdrawal symptoms.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-11T23:10:00

2005-08-13T21:01:44Z

I am basking
in the afterglow
of Grappa
vol. 55%
so nice
so warm
and I am feeling rather poetic
and oh
so very tired.

1) We all know your real name, so let's have a name/handle that you would give yourself:
Morëhelka, which is Quenya for dark ice, since one of my english names (iryce) shortened is ice and I have dark hair.

2) What symbol/icon would you choose to identify yourself with? (Assume that if someone saw this symbol, they would recognize it as related to yourself):
A human in an upright foetal position. Or the symbol in my icon.

3) What would your favorite meal consist of?:
Sushi, biltong and exotic fruits.

4) You get one wish. Be honest, what would you wish for?:
More wishes. Definitely.

5) If you had the money to support it, what (real) animal would you have as a pet?:
A wolf. But I suppose I'll need the guts for it, too...

6) If you were in a fantasy world, what archetype would you be (Warrior, mage, thief, etc.), and why do you say so?:
I would be a minstrel because it is mostly in my nature to do minstrel-type things (I know it is a stupid answer, but I am one of shallow thought).

7) Repaint the world... (choose new colors for the following):
*Sky: I would have it perpetually cloudy so that we will never see the true colour of the sky. I'd make the nights pitch black.
*Trees, plants, grass (what would be green): Trees, plants and grass all in variations of green and gold.
*Earth (soil): Bleached, chalky white.
*Water/snow/vapor (tinted): Light magenta-pink.

8) Fill in the blank. You would be the best _______ in the world if given the choice:
Friend

9) Choose. If you could have the power over a devastatingly destructive force, or the ability to heal aliments, sickness, and revive, which would you choose and why?
I would choose a destructive force and restrain it so that the healing forces will not be needed.

10) If you could erase one of your human requirements for life (eating, sleeping, breathing), what would it be?:
The expulsion of waste products. Very annoying, I'm sure life will be better without it: think of the possible benefits of it on long car journeys.

11) What would be your ideal place to live (as fantastic as you like):
...Heaven. Paths of translucent gold, no pain, no suffering, thirst for wisdom quenched, feeling forever at home, endless love...w00t.

12) If you didn't have to worry about an income, what career path would you indulge in:
An artist and poet. But I'd first study how to be them properly.

13) If you could break one law (once) free of consequence, what would it be and why: I have no desire to break the law. This sounds boring of me, but I really don't...

14) Increase a stat! Would you rather become more intelligent, mentally enduring, physically enduring, physically stronger, dexterous, charismatic, beautiful, or lucky?:
I would choose to be more lucky, since I'd probably be uncomfortable with the others because I wasn't born with them...

15) If you could erase one aspect of modern day society, what would it be and why?:
I would erase television because it had become such a dumphole for propaganda it's not funny.

16) What's your favorite smell?:
Rain on hot ground - the steaminess is so lovely.

17) If you could negate a negative trait of yours, what would it be?:
My tendency to be thick and absent-minded.

18) What creature, if given the choice, would you transfer from either legend or fantasy (not just the fantasy genre, but any fantasic media) into the real world?:
Machine elves from the drug DMT, since they can teach us so many things about transcendence and the dimensions beyond.

19) If you could invent/create anything, for either personal or commercial use, what would it be and why?: I would make an air-purifyer that can filter out all the pollution on this earth. Then I'll donate it to some responsible people.

20) You're singing karaoke, what song are you singing?:
Muse - Sing for Absolution

Liquid Grace

Steady trickle of galvanised crystal
Elixir bottlenecked to a mortal soul
Immersed in a plethora of unearthly voices
Crescendo
diminuendo
Swell
subside
Folded in arms of smug complacence
Above the elite and
beneath the plebeian
simultaneously I lie.

This warm awakening
Far from the usual midnight rousal of
the dark and bitter, and sickles of winter chill
Words swill freely, witholding their secrets
But oh, I will strip them slowly

As the butterfly in the cyclone's eye
Raptured chaos drifts in the deep orange glow
City lights are heralds of paradise fields
Tilt back my head to watch their song and
join in with a husky laugh

And maybe we will be sober

Tomorrow.

In which I lament the woe that is wearing glasses (and a few other things)

2005-08-11T13:21:31Z

I have been told by quite a few people that I look better with glasses than without. It puzzles me because I believe that my eyes look (slightly) bigger when not wearing those dreaded silver abominations.

Winter means soup. But I can't see jack when I drink it, because the bloody hotness of the soup steams up my glasses!

Oh, and I ate charcoal during afrikaans on a whim. Or was it conte crayon? Whatever it was, I feel sick now.

Then, I am feeling lucky again, and I know that you're all pretty sick of me gushing about my best friend, but I was talking to Nicole (she looked upset) and she was depressed about the fact that no one has feelings anymore, and that no one genuinely cares about other people nowadays, and that friends just come and go. And she is right - friendships seem so frivolous. I do not have many friends, probably because people try to make conversation with me and we usually chat rather nicely, but I don't like a lot of people. That sounds rather rich of me, but I enjoy being nice to nice people and having meaningful company, but there aren't many nice people left. I mostly just have acquaintances, and people whose company I enjoy. A lot of them. But everywhere around me I see friendships come and go, I watch how people accept someone into their group only to drive them away with unbelievable snarkiness, and I saw how that person cried, but her 'so called' other friends just looked at her and went on with whatever they were doing before that. And then I felt damn lucky to have someone I can always count on. Woohoo.

Tomorrow, Nicko and I are singing.
On the 23, we are singing again (Joshua is playing for us!!)
Tomorrow, Jason leaves for France. Damn. That dude makes me laugh.

Angels of the Sea from Dan Gibson's Solitudes series wins the trophy for Most Listened To CD today. I have had it for six years now, and I never tire of listening to it.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-10-08T13:11:00

2005-08-09T11:03:10Z

Enon sildisel.

Last night was fantastic, and not nearly as uncomfortable as I imagined. Nicko had a lift with me and we went hunting for Richard's flat. We got there and spoke to Richard, who is a bit of a metalhead and a stoner, but his guitar skillz were BRILL. He could play Metallica on his acoustic, and he's only been playing for a year. We were Teh Awez. Then we rifled through a bunch of old school, alternative and black metal stuff and listened for things that influenced us. No sparks of inspiration for band names though. Anyway after a while a very tired and haggard-looking David showed up. He kept falling asleep but coffee came to the rescue. So they played things. I got mixed, David's actually the rhythm and not the bass. The two had rapport, it was like they could sense each other's every move. Then David did a bit of improv, a song which he called "Paracetamol Boy" and we laughed our asses off - he could pull things off the top of his head just like that. Then we chatted about more random shit like the effects of Prozac and listened to more stuff. We have our first cover which is Zombie by the Cranberries. It never fails to amaze me how many people know that song.

The only downside to this was the lack of band name and the fact that Steve wasn't able to make it. Gah, I stick my tongue out at him.

Drivel

2005-08-07T21:16:58Z

It was lovely to read about the Silmers getting to meet each other in London! I read it all with rapture and, since I probably will never get to meet any of them (South Africa, while being a lovely country to live in, is piteously far from the usual Silm Fandom Suspects), the details of the encounters are probably all that I will possibly get to know about said fanpeople in RL.

The recent events have also shed light on my current anxieties -- I have to confess that in real life, while not at all shy, I am damn good at massacring conversations, unless I know the people very well. I find it difficult to think of enough open-ended pleasantries to keep the talking going, which annoys me - this happens not frequently, but often enough so as to make me doubt my abilities in conversation.

Also, although it is a proven conversation starting technique, I find it rather difficult to talk about myself to someone whose attention span length I am not sure of, since I hate boring people (I myself, on the other hand, am less easily bored since I'm interested in people UNLESS they keep beanbags as pets).

And most of the times the other person clearly has no intention of speaking about themselves either, so line of speaking usually stops at the news, obvious complaints and the weather. So I find it is easier to talk in a familiar group, because my friends know that I am a deviant and rather inappropriately frivolous. On the other hand though, people who I am not sure will approve of my oddness and therefore show a quieter side to generally think I'm scary. Oh, to be normal.

That being said, I am really nervous about meeting Teh Bandpeople tomorrow - besides Nicko, all of them are utter and complete STRANGERS to me except for maybe the few introductory smss. I have spoken to them on the phone (all except David), and all are nice people, but I'm still nervous. So I keep reminding myself that it will all be okay since our meeting has an actual motivation to it. Also I am nervous about singing, because more often than not the voice of the vocalist ultimately sets the boundaries on the genres available to us. Nicko is not anxious at all. I envy her.

I am experiencing limited word use and typos tonight...please excuse that.

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-09-19T18:26:00

2005-08-07T16:20:58Z

I ask
the question to
the wall

I am beautiful

Because the mirror beholds
Only Me.

~

Eyes shift shut
Head is lulled by
wisps of contemplation;
draw my limbs
closer to the heat;
away from splicing
shards of
sound. and
recline
like a
blind foetus.

~

Along the webs of sticky veins
the cyclamen seamstress does not yield
And ever closer draws the
swell and spurt of
fresh, raw
blood.

~

In this week's news, I am so tired. I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep above the guineafowls, the karaoke, the dogs, the gangsters, the telephone. My head still hurts. There are so many things that need to be done. Which leaves me feeling very dark indeed.

Skippable, self-obsessed drivel

2005-08-05T12:21:23Z

My journal is deteriorating - in general intelligence and exciting content. I did not think that it was possible up to this point in time, since it was already boring enough. But at least, in the time where salt was a condiment, I was able to post little bits of convoluted thought. Now all I can do is ramble about RL, which has no literary value whatsoever. I suppose it has more to do with my increasing social life and diminishing intelligence. In a way it relieves me, but mostly thinking about it just makes me sad. My mind used to be a beautiful, empty white room in which I could recline and rest and contemplate, but now it is filled with people...

I have two options:

1. Make this journal friends-only as per 1337n355.

2. Attempt to have some control over what I intend to put here before I start posting things like play-by-play accounts of my life story thus far.

Also I am worried about the way I act. I am too hyperactive for my own liking, too dismissive and too easily bored - yet it feels part of my nature. Thinking back, I was always rather hyperactive until I was in Rustenburg. Maybe I just need to get used to my old skin again, eh? It's very strange though...one could say that I liked my old (Rustenburg) self better but was less happy in it, but I dislike my current self and yet feel more happy and fulfilled therein. I am also developing a will of my own, which I think is consisted of suppressed opinions and is positive either way, but it is a bit alarming.

'Scenes' also bother me. I have so many friends into hip-hop, but I myself am more of a rock person and it's hard to gel because of the differences in subculture.

In more random news, I was scrubbing the shower curtain yesterday, and I think that I may have just discovered a new kind of mould. It is orange and highly staining of the surface on which it was found. My arm is cramping magnificently.

Yesterday while clearing up the debris of the scheduled Thursday Night Bible Study, I started missing Chris quite a bit - randomly. It's hard to think that I'd never see him again. He was such a great person, fun to be around and refreshingly eccentric. Damn exchange students. Maybe I will go spam his website.

I hd a total of 3 whole potatoes yesterday. Found out that blue-foam syndrome is indeed an indicator of hair dye washing out of my accursed hair.

Am meeting band at Richard's house on Monday, YAY!

You SEE?!

p54ch0p9th @ 2005-09-14T20:56:00

2005-08-02T19:12:42Z

So, we now have 5 band members:

No order:

Nicko - vocal
Me - vocal, piano/keyboard
Steve - drummer
Richard - guitarist
David - bass

The only thing we need now is a second guitarist - we are planning to meet each other on the weekend, maybe at Richard's house to get to know each other, decide on a band name, sound, style and things. SO far the main opinion is Metally Goodness. I have a nagging feeling that the excitement at this prospect will exhaust all my social energy before the end of the week. I like this band a lot, and while I haven't actually heard any of them in action (which is a bit weird), they are all great people. I am one lucky bitch.

This is an adventure, since my parents don't exactly approve.

Then, in the whenever-I-feel-like-itly whinge category, I now know that my most important asset during later life (as speculated by my parents) will be: a rich husband. Apparently my life plan will involve marrying a rich family and being a housewife with a PhD. I declined to comment at time of proposal, but I can say this now: that is a retarded idea. Mostly because I would hate to rely on another person for the rest of my life and look after offspring in that same period of time. Others include no financial freedom and unavoidable boredom. This is a bit of a one-sided view on things. I know I should change the perspectives in which I am viewing this situation but I have a potentially upset stomach. I shouldn't look for excuses for everything though...

I have a hard time translating my thoughts into words, which ultimately becomes frustrating.

Tomorrow the grade nines in their entirety will skip a few lessons to do IQ and learning aptitude tests. I have done IQ tests before, in grade 7. On iVillage. They made my head hurt. Also, my IQ cannot possibly be 162...

because I cheated with a calculator.